Please Breathe: My Personal Battle With Unexplained Infertility (Part Three)

This is a continuation of my personal story. If you’re looking for the beginning, click here: Please Breathe: My Personal Battle With Unexplained Infertility (Part One)

One of the worst parts that came out of enduring an ectopic pregnancy was that we had to wait three cycles before being able to try again. I tried to get back to “normal” but I still diligently tracked my ovulation and made sure I was taking my vitamins. I wanted to be more than ready when we were able to try again. I was determined.

My determination only made things more difficult when the time came to continue on our journey. Month after month I would get my hopes up only to see that single, cruel line staring back at me. I tested too early, I squinted, and I often fooled myself into seeing a faint second line. But no, there was never a second line.

After every failed attempt, I would head back to the drawing board. I would comb through the message boards and articles on fertility to find new and better ways to improve our chances. I took baby aspirin, vitamin B complex, Coenzyme Q10, and an array of other supplements on and off to try to find that magical combination.

Eventually, I succumbed to the realization that I may never get pregnant. I hit a new low and I allowed myself to live in my misery for a short time. And then one day, 18 months into our journey, I decided to pick myself up and focus on me. I was still taking my vitamins but I became more relaxed with all the other rules I had set for myself.

One day, I was surprised to run into an old friend of mine from work. To my surprise, she had just moved in down the street from us and just had her first baby. And she was pregnant again! What a strange feeling – jealousy and happiness for another person all mixed together. We exchanged numbers and started making plans to meet up.

“We should get together for coffee,” I suggested. She recommended a hike instead. I was excited to have a good friend that I could meet up with, “And maybe some of her fertility will rub off on me,” I thought, half jokingly. A hike turned into joining her for her kickboxing class. I fell in love with it! It was just what I needed to get out my frustration and to boost my mood. That’s when things really changed for me. I could feel some normalcy coming back to my life; I finally felt like I was me again.

I celebrated my 30th birthday the next month and my husband surprised me with a Vegas getaway. It was so great to lose myself in the music, lights, and excitement with my good friends.

Upon returning home, I realized that it had been about a year since we started trying to conceive after my ectopic pregnancy. I admitted to myself that I needed help and I set up an appointment with a fertility specialist for the end of the next month. I didn’t worry too much about that last cycle as I knew it would be another failure and I could finally find out what the problem was.

My story is a long one, so I’ll be posting it in parts. However, if you would like to read the rest of it now, or if you’re going through your own battle with unexplained infertility, check out my book – The Conception Plan: Getting Pregnant Faster.